no sleep...

This is crazy. Neils just won't sleep-again.
He was sleeping pretty good, going to be around 8 and waking up about every three or 3 1/2 hours. That sucks, but there is worse. Like now! He is waking up all the time, about every hour, for half the night. Last night, he woke up at three, and I fed him a little and tried to get him to sleep for about an hour. I went back and forth, letting him cry for a bit then trying again. I finally couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't stand having him nursing anymore, so I had to just put him down and try the pacifier again. Nothing worked, so I just left him in there, and finally i woke Anthony up and told him to help me. I have never done that before. He has helped before, but early in the night, before he went to sleep. I just had to wake him up, I couldn't do it!! I put a pillow over my head, and I went to sleep. I finally woke up around 6, when Neils usually wakes up in the morning. Anthony took him out to the couch and had slept there, but Neils had woke up, so I picked him up and brought him to my bed. I was so tired, from battling with him all night. I knew he had to be tired,and I figured he would sleep if he was in the bed with me, so I just did it. I know it goes against everything I have been trying to get him out of the habit of, but I couldn't help it. His sleep has been so awful lately, tonight I put him to bed at 8:30, and he has already woken up twice. At least I only have to put the pacifier back in his mouth a few times then feed him then see what else happens.
AGH!!!

first week of school!!

This was my first week of school since having Neils. It was crazy. I thought it would be so hard leaving him, not how I would feel but about how he would react. I got him to sleep the first few days, before I went to class. The first time I came back, he was just waking up and was crying. I held him, and he stopped. He has been like that lately, needing me to hold him or to sit with him or touching him to play with him. He's being a super mama's boy.
I feel good about going to school, though. I am happy to be there, and just being back in that element. It sucks, though, because I got a grant and I thought it would pay for everything, but I have to pay $500 still that is a lot, for not expecting to pay anything! So, I have a payment plan now, and I even have a job. It is only a few hours a week, and I can have Neils, and it is at a bead store! How cool. It is nice to be able to help out, or even just to use that money to pay for school. Or something.
We might be moving to another house, too. Maybe. Not sure yet.

Surrogate

I have a gay friend. I think he is awesome. I've known him almost my whole life, and I think that if he ever wanted to have a child of his own, not an adopted one, that I would be a surrogate mother.
But...
That was the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about it. But, now that I think about it...who would be the female donor?? Me? I don't know if I could do that, though. I could grow the baby, but I don't think I could give up my own. I think I might be able to, but it would be weird. Weird knowing there is a child in the world out there, who isn't mine and Anthony's. Obviously it would be like artificial insemination....geez.
I think I got myself into a mess. It isn't like he asked or even knows I am thinking about this, anyway.
What a nut I am.
Why did I even start thinking about this???

Vegas, baby!

We took a vacation to Vegas, to Henderson and Boulder City, mostly. Right now we are at Anthony's brother's house in Henderson, waiting for the babies to wake up so we can go do stuff. I think we are going to see the shark reef at some hotel, but I don't know. These guys all know more about the city and stuff, so I have to just go along. I really really want to go to JoAnn, the fabric/craft store while we're here, since it is pretty big. The closest one I have to me is teh one in St. George, and it is so so small. I don't know about going there, though. It would be later today, and I hate dragging people to those stores with me, because I get so caught up in them, and when someone is with me I just rush and don't enjoy myself. I'll figure it out.

So far, we have swam in the pool in their backyard, had a dinner at their grandma's house, and a dinner at their aunt's house. I got to go to Babies R us, and I bought Neils a Halloween costume already. Yeah, I know it is August, but I saw a Winnie the Pooh costume, and Anthony loves Winnie the Pooh, so I had to get it. I love it. I haven't tried to get him in it yet, but I know he'll fit. I think he'll be so cute!! Yay.
I updated my website, so all the stuff I have left over is on there now. It will all be on sale until I launch my new website, and after the new site is up, I will have a page or a way to get to the old one so you can still buy the old stuff. But at regular price. So ha!! I am hoping I can get it to the point where I really like it and don't change it all the time like I do now. I am setting it up completely different. :)