Being Mom

am so confused…being a mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done! Neils is the cutest thing ever, and I love him to death, but I just can’t handle him sometimes. I struggle to make him happy some days, and some nights, I just can’t seem to get him to sleep. He is still nursing, and it seems that is the only way I can get him to sleep. That is my fault, though, for having him sleep in the bed with me. It is the one thign I know that will calm him down and get him to sleep (most of the time!). I used to be able to feed him, then hold him and rock him a little, and he’d fall asleep. Now, I just have to lay in the bed with him nursing until he falls alseep. It drives me crazy sometimes, like I jsut want ot be able to give him a bottle and leave him alone. But I can’t. He refuses to take anything form a bottle. Somtimes we can get him to drink water from one, but he will not drink milk form anything, even if it is breastmilk. I’ve never tried to give him formula, though. I have tried juice, even diluted juice, but he won’t drink that, either. I wish I had someone to talk to, who has had an experience like mine and who has been able to make it better. It seems like I was able to get him to sleep in his crib alright, but I ended up sleeping on the floor in the room with him because he wakes up so much and because I eventually had to lay him on the floor with me and get him to sleep that way. Then Anthony said it was okay for Neils to sleep in our room again, since I was clearly lacking sleep and my body was aching so much from sleeping on the wood floor. I think that now he is five months old, it should be easier to get him to go along with a schedule. Maybe not, though. But how do I do it?? I have a couple books but I don’t think I like what they say to do. agh…I have a great respect for all mothers out there!!